Thanks Dad for all your help. Don´t know how to begin this email. Hardest
thing I´ve had to write to date. Mom died, Dad. She died in my arms. She´s
gone. She went at 8:30 PM. It was agony watching her all day moaning now and
again in her deep sleep. I put the second morphine injection in her to calm
her pain st 8:20.
The doctor had already suspended the IV for the last two days. There was no
more muscle left to insert the cathode and the IV would cause more pain. I
spooned crumbled ice in her mouth which melted rapidly. She took her last
drops of water. And I just knew it was time. I knew she didn´t have long
left. I wanted her pain to end. How much longer could she take this. I
stayed with her. Had her head cradled in my arm and her frail body in the
other. The cancer had consumed her from the inside out. The wrist and arm
was nothing but bone covered in a thin layer of skin.
The family was there and we waited. The breathing became shallow. They
prayed. They pleaded for her to let go. To seek the peace offered on the
other side; escape from this miserable life. She stopped breathing a total
of three times for a couple minutes, returning for a last gasp each time.
She didn´t want to go. When the last breath came and five minutes had passed
we called it. She´d gone.
Don´t worry about coming out here. It´s not necessary. Mom didn´t want a big
funeral. No large groups of friends. Just a small private gathering and a
quick cremation. She didn´t even want a catholic funeral. The funeral car
has already been for her tonight. Tomorrow they will have her ready in
Bogota. And then the cremation will take place by four PM.
I´ll be busy all tomorrow. Later on around 5AM, going down to Girardot where
they are preparing mom, see her again there then head for Bogota in the
morning around 10AM.
The doctor had expected her to pass away a couple nights ago, but she hung
on in there beyond all odds. Died four times in my arms. The eyes and mouth
wouldn´t close afterwards like they do in the movies. Had to tie a scarf
there and keep my fingers on the lids close to an hour while they did the
funeral paper work. A big piece of me is dead too. The agony and watching
her suffer for such a long time was worse than the death itself. Beautiful
mom. I have to continue. She´d want me to complete my goals. She´d have
sacrificed her own life for mine.
I´ll be back online maybe tomorrow night. Take care of the Pole and Frenchie
for me. The Frenchie said he´d had a call that he´d get his juke tomorrow.
I´ll wait see what the pole sends if I can understand what he´s happening in
the photos, I´´ll go see the tech. Don´t want you flying out there. Do the
best you can. I´ll take over soon as I have time. Maybe he is having a
voltage issue still. Have him check on that.
If the drum not turning. Don´t know if you had any trouble with it. Tell him
to press the button for the drum a little harder. Sometimes it didn´t spin
until it was pressed again harder. I got him to graduate it here, but it
still presented a little bother now and again. Maybe there´s something stuck
in the drum that´s not allowing it to turn. Must be something simple.
Sorry for the news Dad. That cancer didn´t want to go. I had obstacles every
time I tried a new drug. She was just too far gone at every step I tried. At
least she died in my arms. I think she would have wanted it like that. Her
eyes locked on mine for a bit but I´m not sure she was aware I was there or
not when she left. I even carried her out for the last time to the
stretcher. Her body no longer warm by then and stiff. Fucking shit life this
is. We all checkout but to have your own body eat away at you is not the way
to go. It´s a horrible way to die. I´m glad she can finally be without pain,
but I´m also sad to never see her again for all eternity.
When I´m settled with all this, maybe I come down and visit you for a week.
I´ll try do it when I ship the next three jukes. So I´m there to help you
with them when they arrive and are on auction. I´ll take my laptop with me.
I hope I´ve convinced this Jeff and his mate to buy these two.
Thanks for being there for me, Dad.
- Elton